Men's counseling

Men!  We find ourselves in exciting and challenging times...

How would you define what it means to be a man today? Are you lost in our culture with little purpose or direction?  Do you find yourself confronted by messages to "find your backbone" in some areas but to "be more sensitive" in others? Do you feel shame, anger, disconnection or overwhelm and don't know what is wrong?

It seems our mixed messages to be both New Age "sensitive" and Traditionally "strong" have provided us a tremendous opportunity to explore and integrate what it means for us to be full fledged, upright, mature and compassionate men in this world. In an age where the notion of gender itself is questioned- or even targeted as a construct- and where masculine/feminine roles have been significantly depolarized, those of us who identify as men are discovering new complexities that are arising for the first time in history. Unfortunately, we appear to be collapsing in a time when the healthy aspects of masculinity- a sense of agency, directness, purpose and fierce resolve- are needed most. 

You are not alone.

What we know is this- modern women have done a much more effective job redefining their roles and recent data suggests that men are backsliding in virtually every measure of well being (see my March 2016 blog for more).   Women have outpaced men in education and have responded to the biological and cultural pressures to have their lives in order much earlier than men.  Alternatively, men are showing up with higher rates of depression and anxiety, gaming/pornography addiction, and lack of drive for competence. “It may be that while many males openly welcome the progress of women, deep down, beyond even their own awareness, they can’t help interpreting it as their own failure.” (Psychology Today, March 2016).  No doubt, it’s a challenging time for us and your first task is to address our shame, anger, and dissociation with resolve.   You can speculate all you want about what happened to us but at the bottom, in your guts, you know you are are hiding out, quietly enraged with none other than yourself.  The world needs you and it is time to get busy discovering how!

Your resolve makes a difference!

Meeting the modern challenge of healthy masculinity requires dedication to developing all aspect of our Head, Heart and Guts. Whether you and I work together individually or in my groups, one of the most important qualities we will highlight is your resilience and that your intentions to make changes in the world are of service to all.  A course of psychotherapy or coaching with me is tailored to your need and desire for both support and challenge.  Please bring yourself fully to our work together.  I welcome your realness!

Yeah but...

Entering your own interior to tell the truth about your limitations can be a mildly uncomfortable to a downright terrifying process.  Many of us feel afraid so hesitation and feelings of confusion are all par for the course while taking the initiative to reach out to get what you want- and ultimately deserve- from your life. Perhaps you've tried psychotherapy or other forms of self help and are wondering how this could be any different. I 've personally interviewed many therapists looking for the right fit for my needs and although I admit it was laborious, I noticed that doing it helped me to become clearer in articulating what I was looking for.

Working in relationship with me is a very exciting and awakening experience.  You should be prepared to be challenged, to be kind yourself and to laugh out loud as we uncover your self limiting beliefs! While I won't spend a great deal of time messing around helping you to stay stuck in your limitations, I will work with you in a direct way that gives you space to make decisions about what will be useful to you.  All of the clients who arrive in my office ready to take responsibility for their lives, leave our sessions with many tools and cognitive processes to continue their growth between our sessions and many of my clients return to see me over several different periods in their lives.

I welcome your ambivalence, questions and doubts as part of the process of forming relationship that is useful for you.  I always offer a free 15 minute phone call as a low risk way to get the ball rolling and additionally, your first session with me will be free of charge in the event that we decide I am not the right fit for you.

If I can serve you...

Most of the clients who come to me for an initial consultation do so out of a "gut feeling" and this makes perfect sense to me as an intuitive learner and guide.  The vast majority of clients who make an agreement with me to work together stay for a full course of therapy ranging from several months to years.  I take our work together very seriously and I respectfully encourage my clients to do the same. Being that the whole intention of therapy is to see transformation in your life outside of our sessions,  I offer a pathway and tools- as opposed to shallow quick fixes- which will serve you long after out time together is finished.

I have bachelors and masters degrees in Psychology and am a Naropa University trained Transpersonal Counselor working in Gestalt and Experiential therapies.  I have also developed a tremendous respect for the relational frameworks of Non-Violent Communication and the Enneagram.  While working with areas of trauma (freeze response and dissociation) I have personally benefitted from a thorough course of Somatic Experiencing work and use it today as an orienting method.