Men & Groups

Men!  We find ourselves in exciting and challenging times...

How would you define what it means to be a man today? Lots of criteria to meet?  Confusing question? Do you find yourself confronted by messages to "find your backbone" in some roles but to "be more sensitive" in others? Encountering shame, anger, disconnection or overwhelm and don't know what is wrong? 

It seems our mixed messages to be both New Age "sensitive" and Traditionally "strong" have provided us a tremendous opportunity to explore and integrate what it means for us to be full fledged, upright, mature and compassionate men of service to this world. In an age where the notion of gender itself is questioned- or even targeted as a construct- and where masculine/feminine roles have been significantly depolarized, those of us who identify as men are discovering new complexities that are arising for the first time in history. Unfortunately, we appear to be collapsing in a time when the healthy aspects of masculinity- a sense of agency, courage and fierce resolve- are needed most. We must access our valor in addressing the double bind of being asked to be masculine and feminine all at once if we are to survive long enough to manifest and serve in ways that meet the complexity of our times. 

You are not alone.

What we know is this- modern women have done a much more effective job redefining their roles and recent data suggests that men are backsliding in virtually every measure of well being (see my March 2016 blog for more) and “it may be that while many males openly welcome the progress of women, deep down, beyond even their own awareness, they can’t help interpreting it as their own failure.” (Psychology Today, March 2016).  No doubt, it’s a challenging time for us and our first task is to address our shame, anger, and dissociation with resolve.   We can speculate all we want about what happened to us and why but at the bottom in our guts we are are hiding out, quietly enraged with none other than ourselves.

Your resolve makes a difference!

Meeting this challenge requires dedication to developing all aspect of our Head, Heart and Guts. Whether you and I work together individually or in my groups, one of the most important qualities we will highlight is your resilience and that your intentions to make changes in the world are of service to all.  A course of psychotherapy or coaching with me is tailored to your need and desire for both support and challenge.  Please bring yourself fully to our work together.  I welcome your realness!

Yeah but...

Entering psychotherapy can be a mildly uncomfortable to downright terrifying process.  Hesitation and feelings of confusion are all par for the course while takinging the initiative to reach out to get what you want- and ultimately deserve- from your life.  Perhaps you've tried psychotherapy or other forms of self help and are wondering how this could be any different. I get it.  I 've personally interviewed many therapists looking for the right fit for my needs and although I admit it was laborious, I noticed that doing it helped me to become clearer in articulating what I was looking for.

I welcome your ambivalence, questions and doubts as part of the process of forming a safe relationship together.  I always offer a free 15 minute phone call as a low risk way to get the ball rolling and additionally, your first session with me will be free of charge so that we can get clear together if I am the right fit for you.

If I can serve you...

Most of the clients who come to me for an initial consultation do so out of a "gut feeling" and this makes perfect sense to me as an intuitive learner and guide.  The vast majority of clients who make an agreement with me to work together stay for a full course of therapy ranging from several months to years.  I take our work together very seriously and I respectfully encourage my clients to do the same. Being that the whole intention of therapy is to see transformation in your life outside of our sessions,  I offer a pathway and tools- as opposed to shallow quick fixes- which will serve you long after out time together is finished.

I have bachelors and masters degrees in Psychology and am a Naropa University trained Transpersonal Counselor working in Gestalt and Experiential therapies.  I have also developed a tremendous respect for the relational frameworks of Non-Violent Communication and the Enneagram.  While working with areas of trauma (freeze response and dissociation) I have personally benefitted from a thorough course of Somatic Experiencing work and use it today as an orienting method.

Head, Heart and Guts: A Men’s Process Group

Becoming a full fledged man means coming into our power with other men. Who else can provide the support and challenge we need? In this group, we courageously leave no stone unturned as we explore our Head, Heart and Guts together.

In this group we develop:

  • An updated philosophy of what it means to be a relevant man
  • Community and connection with other men
  • Solid communication skills while giving/receiving feedback
  • Maturity with emotions such as anger, shame and grief.
  • Mindfulness and self awareness.
  • Integrity in accountability, honesty, and firm boundaries
  • Finding meaning and purpose with a sense of direction.
  • Courage to address our strengths and vulnerabilities

Meets in Boulder, Tuesdays evenings 7-8:30pm

This group is suitable to all men 25+ who are willing to take responsibility for their own development!

A free consultation is required before entering the group.

Cost: $40 per session.  You may pay for and try your first week before committing fully.  Please ask about sliding scale.

More about Head, Heart and Guts...

Head: There will be reading between weekly meetings to serve as a philosophical orientation to what it means for us to be fully fledged, vetted men in an age where the demand for a holistic masculinity is at an all time high.  We will discover and normalize what we have left behind and failed to manifest collectively and individually as well as where our strengths can illuminate the way and move us forward.

Heart:  In our group setting we will find courage to speak from the heart and discover what it means to be supportive, intimate, compassionate men.  We will share a safe space through expressing our fears our vulnerabilities but make no mistake- an open heart needs a supportive backbone to hang on. We will integrate the polarity of the wisdom aspects of both New Age Sensitive and Traditional Masculine while uncovering the shadow aspects as well.

Guts: This group will emphasize being fully embodied.  While this includes the wisdom that comes from the head and heart it also addresses spontaneous knowing before thinking and feeling may hijack our experience.  At this level we reclaim our negative emotions, especially coming to understand how anger and shame are powerful emotions when seen clearly and put to good use!

If I can serve you...

I have been facilitating groups for over two decades and have vetted my leadership skills for 14 years at Colorado Outward Bound School where I directed trainings for new instructors and worked in the field with veterans of Vietnam and the Middle East.  I sought male mentorship from as early as twelve years old and I continue to develop my own Head, Heart and Guts in an ongoing way. Click here for more about me and my approach or contact me directly.